I MOVED!!! I MOVED!!!

Come join me at my new spot

"HERE"!!!

mepookiesan.wordpress.com

Dear Chris Clauder

Thanks for visiting my spot and leaving me "your comment", however YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME OR MY FAMILY!!! 

Until you start taking care of us or provding me with funds to maintain and live, leave your negativity at the front door of my page or better yet don't come in. 

You have your opinion about what you will or won't do and that's fine but don't come to my spot with this inflammed attitude and spew your vial thoughts of who I am and how I will make decisions in my life when you clearly don't know jack shit about me. 

Again, when you start paying my bills and providing for me and my family YOU.DON'T.MATTER!!!

Got it. 

Now if you want to start providing for us please leave me your information (i.e. bank accout, credit card, checks info) and I will provide you with my bank account to make monthly deposits so your support of us can begin...gladly. 

Otherwise:

F.U.C.K!!!

O.F.F!!!

Am I clear...

GG

Infertility...

That is a word that cuts like the sharpest knife in the draw and it describes so many woman. 

It makes us feel sad, hurt, less than and without. 

It brings us closer to strangers we never met and it sometimes bonds us for life.

It makes us stronger than we ever thought we were and it make us more appreciative.

It's added stress in what should be a stress free situation, it's self blaming when it's not your fault.

It's wishful thinking, hoping and praying.

It's wondering, confusing and hurtful.

It's envious, wanting, and waiting.

It's the question why... over and over again.

It's disappointing and frustrating.

It's a life that so many of us are living and coping with everyday.

I will not be d.e.f.i.n.e.d by the inability to conceive, I will not let infertility be who I become.

My inability with infertility will not be my I.D.E.N.T.I.T.Y.

It will not be what controlls me ... It will just be the word that describes a part of me.

It's only...

Infertility 

Congratulations are in order for Perez Family!

Baby Zane Elliot and Finley Grace were just born!

see blog here

I've been SHOT!!!!

I was forced to get the flu shot today!!! F.O.R.C.E.D!  : (

I was told that I did not have to get it but I can not have any patient contact that's company "policy"...

Well damn it... that's part of my job ...patient contact.

It's blackmail I tell ya.

I told my director and supervisor that if I get sick I'm not going home so don't ask, I will be staying my ass right at work: fever, sniffing, sneezing and aching and I am coughing on e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g and e.v.e.r.y.b.o.d.y (door knobs, phones, crowded elevators, stairwells, licking coffee mugs, water and soda bottles)...

I get it... we all get it...that's my "policy".

I have not had the flu shot in years and I only had the flu once: WHEN.I.GOT.THE.FLU.SHOT!!!

So I have been immunized. against my will. : (

Woman gets pregnant twice....

within 3 weeks of her first confirmed pregnancy...........WTF!!! Read Article here

:sigh:

Dancing Baby

Autumn is here!!!!

As I was driving into work today (after all that damn rain we had finally stopped) I noticed a hint of fall in the air, the trees are just starting to change just a little.  I love this time of year, the house decoration are better in the fall to me.

It's nature just doing its own thing without a care in the world.




I.LOVE.AUTUMN.TIME

09.20.2008

"OOP & DOOP"

This is what we so lovingly called them from the moment we found out that we were having twins.  Today I mourn the loss of them, a year ago today I delivered my babies at 5 months.  At 12:00 midnight I delivered my baby girl "T", then at 1:15am I delivered my son "H" and at 3:15 I mourned them.  I.miss.them.  I will miss them for the rest of my life.  The hurt is the same...at that moment, it is the same.  With time, I suppose, this hurt will dull and the memory won't be as painful, I suppose.  My heart is heavy and my mind is filled with all the memories...happy, good, sad, hurt...

As I sit and think about the process that I went through: My first IVF, the meds, oooh the needles...everyday...the ultrasounds, the mOod sWinGs (haha), the "trigger shot" timed perfectly hahaha (i laugh cuz that was a mission to be home on time and needle ready),  the retrieval day, the waiting, the fertility report on the eggs, the transfer day...that was an exciting day all around, seeing the pictures of them, I was so happy that what I was looking at was actual life that me and my husband made...our babies..I WAS IN LOVE FROM THAT MOMENT, and the greatest moment to me was the pregnancy test that showed those 2 lines.  I was 8 days past my transfer and I could not wait any longer (2 more days) so I went to the bathroom at work and POAS and as soon as I lifted it to look there they were, 2 lines, faint at first but by 5 mins good and dark, I was in that stall jumping and saying OMG OMG!!! we did it, I rate that day as one of the best...yup.

My entire pregnancy was great, I had no real issues, I was always asked how do you feel and my reply was always "great, fabulous, wonderful", I had nothing to complain about, I.WAS.PREGNANT.  I was looking for all the signs, cravings, aches, pains but nothing.  The first time I threw up (sorry tmi) I was excited hahaha, I called my mom and siser to tell them ...happily...it's funny cuz I was looking forward to having any pregnancy symptom...bring it on hahaha, I loved every heartburn, queasy, up all night peeing, sore boobs, upset stomach moment.

 (((((big smile))))

I know that this is not my end of the road in my travel to parentood, I know that I will be a mother.  I know that I have the strength to get through this loss.

Today I mourn my children, I mourn all the moments I will never have with them and the moments I had with them were both joyous and sad.  I was blessed with those few hours to hold them and tell them that I will forever love them and I know that they passed hearing me say those words and feeling the love from me and their father.

Today I am a mixed bag of emotions. 

Ok, I love Shelby-Rae dearly....DEARLY and I can imagine how Jessica Simpson feels about her dog being snatched. The same thing almost happened to me during the early part of the summer: Shelby and I were out front she was doing her business and out of the corner of my eye I saw this black bird fly from my left to my right, I paid it no attention and then from my right I see this HUGH black bird with its' wings spread and flying low ...right towards Shelby (OMG!!!) and all I could do was yell at her to run towards me as I ran towards her.  I kept screaming as she looked confused as to why I was yelling at her but proceeded to walk quickly towards me and I snatched her before the bird did.  I was scared and laughing at the same time.  It all palyed out like a cartoon or movie.  But I knew had that bird gotten to her first it was a wrap...no posters, no reward, not a search party in sight could have brought Shelby-Rae back, she was as good as gone.  Which brings me back to Jessica Simpson, IT WAS A COYOTE, a hUnGrY coyote...and I don't think poor Dasiy had the chance to put up a fight either.  I don't think any amount of money is gonna bring her back at this point maybe some imposters but not Daisy...  I feel for her but c'mon, seriously.

R.I.P Daisy!!! 

 (this would be really sad if it were'nt so funny at this point, she can't be this dumb ...can she?)